when we were both machines

i used to love you

the way your heart ticked like an alarm clock

second hand

and dime storms were kisses

that didn't tear away skin

But a nanosecond

To the Nth degree

Between

Past

Future

Known as

Present

i;ve been working on you. working on the fine lines. the details. that make something like the me of you. human. it isn't a lot to say. i am no machine. that my heart makes a pulse. and the brain. and all the pink and fleshy parts on the insides of skin that purr the whirr and turn everything up to eleven are some incidental gene mutation that makes me slightly different than algae. the neighbour's cat. there isn't any other way for this to go. because i wear clothes. and put my hands in my pockets. because i perform respiration. unconscious.

Dot dot dots

Still nothing comes

Sounds don't sound the way they did

My pillow has no texture

I look where my mind can't see

Outside

I need color again

The space between my eyes is a hole

Like a dot

Dot dot dots

Follow me into a deserted room

Where silence can speak the way I feel

I wonder when it stops

I wonder when

The sound of those old-style keys, that heavy clack,

not the light tap of those new ones.

It brings me back, those memories,

Of younger years with time to do what I pleased.

Browsing a vast expanse of knowledge,

Or losing myself in various mediums,

For entertainment and passing time.

The many worlds I explored.

The sound of those old-style keys, that heavy clack,

Not the light tap of those new ones.

It brings me comfort from those memories,

of sitting at a desk, father and son.

Working, browsing news, exploring, or playing,

I sat faithfully by, enjoying,

Or bored and lost in my thoughts,

The keys but a background noise.

The sound of those old-style keys, that heavy clack,

Not the light tap of those new ones.

It brings on sleep. White noise,

Like a fan’s hum throughout the night.

My roommate stays awake again,

Balancing homework with games.

I roll over to escape the screen’s cool glare in my eyes,

And end another day with clacking in my ears.

Forever

Oh, you silly boy

Tomorrow with a comma

Hung to dry

Whet and

Wild-eyed and

Hungry

Stalled out in midair

Plunged

Toward your yesterday

Wring them out

Again

Wise and shiny

Silly boy

We’ve heard how

You kept up

The “good” work

Straights

and rights

Tipping it back

Watch the flood

An anvil and a hammer

Level it out

Two points

You see

An end

Angry little white man

Shepherds his flock by night,

Afraid of the black sheep

Who come to reclaim their throne.

My eyes capture the movements,

The lightning bug glitters in the night sky.

As the windows to the soul close, and I drift away in dreams,

A canary’s song floats to my ears.

I awake to a new day and greet the sun

It paints my home, Yazoo City, yellow.

Once I begin another adventure

My tools come out,

A large amount of water and powdered maize.

As the fusion of the elements begins and ends

I take out the brush, and begin depicting my new journey.

One more time I take a breath.

One more time I try to make it through

One more time I tell myself it will be okay

One more time I believe the lies

One more time I fall for it

One more time I give myself up

One more time I have a friend

One more time I let them hurt me

One more time I tell myself…

One more time I say there won’t be one more time

now comes paralysis

a half-windsor monday

skim milk and chardonnay

seeing circles and circles

and circles and squares

and now

white noise on the ceiling

oblique words

left right

center

friction meets bone

dissonant tremolo

tongues against teeth and dead skin

lining empty passageways

the trepanation

of a tinfoil skull

gasping swimming flashing

fractal ink against a tattered sky

giants blacken the setting sun

phantoms reborn to die

a barbed wire cactus

a velcro wristwatch

a cordless phone

a staple on a paper crucifix

the sounds play out

now comes release

all was seen then lost to age

but circles in the end

Between

Foreseen

Betwixt

Extreme

Comical

Refrain

Reigns

Snow crunches beneath my shoes

On sidewalks now hidden.

Street lamps illuminate

Thick flecks of white.

The air a hazy glow

Orange from light.

Silent night.

Icy grasp

Enters warmth.

Why am I out here?

Can’t Escape?

No.

Not myself.

Spring come

Fill the air

With many melodies.

Defeater of silence

Bringer of change.

Perhaps

I can do the same.